Alright?
Back after a short time to spread my message of hate again, just for you guys!
So what's new? I've been incredibly Ill, that's what! Also, while everyone's out having a fuckin' whale of a time, i'm stuck here blogging on a friday night.... i'm so pathetic its even amusing me! Anyway, Started off as food poisoning around Christmas, then flu a few weeks back, didn't get better and now i've got Sinusitis! Not to mention i had the Runs worse than Daley Bastard Thompson. I kid you not, it was making a noise quite similar to if Donald Duck had caught me standing in his flower bed.
Speaking of which, has anyone noticed Disney's failure in the design of him.... how easy would he be to murder? just hold his beak closed, put your thumbs over the nose holes and gently "Shush" him to sleep. Mickey mouse on the other doesn't ever sit or fuckin' stand still for a second! He's like a child with ADHD... I bet he was well naughty at school! Such a bastard... you always hear of celebrities hindering the other kids learning as children! I bet Jim Carey was a fucking nightmare! he seems like the sort of person who believed his Surname was "Sit Down" or "Get down from there!" or "Stop doing that!" until he was 13.
I don't really know what else to say to be honest! I'm gonna get pretty wasted and maybe come back and make another one to see how my brain switches! XD
Dasvidaniya, Fuckers! ^_^
Friday, 25 January 2013
Wednesday, 16 January 2013
Blue Hedgehogs And Orange Juice Boxes
Good MOOOOOOOOOORNING Vietnam!
Rather than having to deal with a Hook-Nosed Berk, you're stuck with me i'm afraid! So... what's new today then? Well... i decided to eat the leftovers from yesterdays Chilli and i'm now fuller than a Bishops Ballsack. Why on earth i'm filling myself with such heavy crap i don't know... i could do with dropping a few Lbs and that is no lie! After munching myself through Crimbo and drinking more than Mel Gibson on a weeknight, my figure has changed..... and changed FOREVEEEEEEER...... Nah i'll just hit the gym :D
I listened to an old cassette i found this morning, it had no label and i have to say i can't resist that... i get all excited and wonder what it is. After listening for a few minutes i came to the conclusion that i must of somehow came into possession of a tape that had escaped from Hunstanton's Fairground.... (Carnival for US Citizens). Hunstanton is my childhood seaside resort and a marvelous place it is too! It doesn't have overweight dart players with tattoos waddling about, smacking their kids to Limbo and back. Fuck the term 'Broken Britain'.... it should be "Bruised Britain!"
Anyway! The tape! The music on it was pretty much fresh of the Waltzers ride at Hunstanton.... these guys are particular offenders of using this tape.
These Hits include:
- All That She Wants by Ace Of Base
- Return Of The Mack by Mark Morrison
- Here Comes The Hotstepper by Ini Kamoze
- Gangsters Paridise by Coolio
- Red Red Wine by UB40
And the list goes on... Just youtube these songs and do yourself a favour if you've not heard them! Now, you can forgive me i guess for going on a beautiful and nostalgic trip to my childhood, where the only thing i had to worry about (really) was kicking Dr. Robotniks arse on Sonic The Hedgehog. Man i love that game! But the real thing i want to talk about with you, is... the 90's.
The 90's is a MUCH overlooked era. I was born in 1986, so growing up as a child in the 1990's was absolute Bliss. Food was still salty and loaded with Shit, orange juice glowed in the dark from E-numbers, Kids were still allowed to run around like Amphetamine abusers, breaking everything because it was to be expected with all the shit our parents were feeding us. Summers were still long and endless, the local shop still sold 'Atomic Warheads' sweets and Nightmare was on TV. We had Sonic The Hedgehog, Road Rash, Toe Jam and Earl, Desert Strike, and wherever you went there were SEGA and Nintendo characters EVERYWHERE. I even remember fights happening between groups of Fanboys over SEGA and Nintendos rivalry! It was crazy! (I'm a proud SEGA kid, Fuck You Nintendo.)
We had the best school discos in primary school, dance competitions fueled by pure nuclear energy from Space Raiders Pickled Onion flavoured crisps and fuckin' Calypso Juice Boxes.... we had the first appearance of Power Rangers too and all the other excellent TV that was on at the time.... Shit! I even remember when Sky Movies was ONE CHANNEL hahaha!
Anyway, to wrap it up, I know i made fun of these ride operators for using this music, but after the beautiful and fond memories i've had this morning, the fun and brilliant Journey through heart warming nostalgia i've been on blogging this to you, i hope the ride operators NEVER stop using these songs....
Rather than having to deal with a Hook-Nosed Berk, you're stuck with me i'm afraid! So... what's new today then? Well... i decided to eat the leftovers from yesterdays Chilli and i'm now fuller than a Bishops Ballsack. Why on earth i'm filling myself with such heavy crap i don't know... i could do with dropping a few Lbs and that is no lie! After munching myself through Crimbo and drinking more than Mel Gibson on a weeknight, my figure has changed..... and changed FOREVEEEEEEER...... Nah i'll just hit the gym :D
I listened to an old cassette i found this morning, it had no label and i have to say i can't resist that... i get all excited and wonder what it is. After listening for a few minutes i came to the conclusion that i must of somehow came into possession of a tape that had escaped from Hunstanton's Fairground.... (Carnival for US Citizens). Hunstanton is my childhood seaside resort and a marvelous place it is too! It doesn't have overweight dart players with tattoos waddling about, smacking their kids to Limbo and back. Fuck the term 'Broken Britain'.... it should be "Bruised Britain!"
Anyway! The tape! The music on it was pretty much fresh of the Waltzers ride at Hunstanton.... these guys are particular offenders of using this tape.
These Hits include:
- All That She Wants by Ace Of Base
- Return Of The Mack by Mark Morrison
- Here Comes The Hotstepper by Ini Kamoze
- Gangsters Paridise by Coolio
- Red Red Wine by UB40
And the list goes on... Just youtube these songs and do yourself a favour if you've not heard them! Now, you can forgive me i guess for going on a beautiful and nostalgic trip to my childhood, where the only thing i had to worry about (really) was kicking Dr. Robotniks arse on Sonic The Hedgehog. Man i love that game! But the real thing i want to talk about with you, is... the 90's.
The 90's is a MUCH overlooked era. I was born in 1986, so growing up as a child in the 1990's was absolute Bliss. Food was still salty and loaded with Shit, orange juice glowed in the dark from E-numbers, Kids were still allowed to run around like Amphetamine abusers, breaking everything because it was to be expected with all the shit our parents were feeding us. Summers were still long and endless, the local shop still sold 'Atomic Warheads' sweets and Nightmare was on TV. We had Sonic The Hedgehog, Road Rash, Toe Jam and Earl, Desert Strike, and wherever you went there were SEGA and Nintendo characters EVERYWHERE. I even remember fights happening between groups of Fanboys over SEGA and Nintendos rivalry! It was crazy! (I'm a proud SEGA kid, Fuck You Nintendo.)
We had the best school discos in primary school, dance competitions fueled by pure nuclear energy from Space Raiders Pickled Onion flavoured crisps and fuckin' Calypso Juice Boxes.... we had the first appearance of Power Rangers too and all the other excellent TV that was on at the time.... Shit! I even remember when Sky Movies was ONE CHANNEL hahaha!
Anyway, to wrap it up, I know i made fun of these ride operators for using this music, but after the beautiful and fond memories i've had this morning, the fun and brilliant Journey through heart warming nostalgia i've been on blogging this to you, i hope the ride operators NEVER stop using these songs....
Tuesday, 15 January 2013
Strawberry Ice Cream
Happy Birthday! just in case it's your birthday when you read this.
Well! I'm back for a second day of mayhem and destruction... Don't blame me.. You can blame my good friend Emma, she encouraged me so it's entirely her fault. (If you're reading this love, tell your Nana to keep her back to the wall.)
So! Another day... i woke up feeling hungover as promised, slapped on some BeauSoleil and guzzled some Cherry Coke. The only thing i know that is better than Sex first thing in the morning is Zydeco music.... i wouldn't mix the two though... the rhythm would be absolute comedy gold! In fact, ANYTHING with accordions in it is a no go area for Sex unless you both wanted to be sobbing with laughter and kill the mood. A past experience found me with a partner when suddenly, The Dreadnoughts came on... if you haven't heard them, they are a Folk Punk band that mainly do Sea Shanties with punk... what started as a passionate and gentle moment between two consenting adults ended in me feeling like a sweaty, bearded Sea Captain back in port, in the back room of a rough pub with a prostitute about 200-300 years ago..
While we're on the subject of sweaty bearded Sea Captains, i noticed Sharon Osbourne has been in the newspaper for being unreasonable....AGAIN. Now... i THINK it was about someone else's weight issue.. didn't she used to be a whole lot of woman herself? I remember looking for pictures a while ago of when she was huge but couldn't find any! Must be a global cover up, because if you buy the tribute album they made for Lynn Strait when he died, (Strait Up i think it was called) there's a picture of her in there looking massive.
AAAAAH! There we go! Ozzy and Sharon in 1987... and i think it got worse than that. Surely you'd think someone who was big in the past would have a little more understanding than to slam another person for their weight..... especially when she cheated and had hers hoovered out.
Anyway! This isn't a fuckin' celebrity gossip column so shall we crack on?
So today is National Strawberry Ice Cream day! to celebrate this day i have bought Vanilla Carte D'or Ice Cream to say "Fuck you" to the system... take THAT society. How are you guys celebrating yours? Did anybody actually know about this ridiculous holiday some Ice cream company probably paid Hallmark to invent so they could make a few bob? (To our Cousins overseas, that's a term used for making some money)
Seeing as it's quite early, i don't have much else to say... so i will either post later today, or tomorrow! Check back regularly to see if i've posted any more useless crap :)
Looooooooves <3 <3
Zydeco Hooligan
Monday, 14 January 2013
And so it begins....
Hello people, this is the start of a new, Terrible.... TERRIBLE thing.
Before we start, i am NOT perfect, So you will probably get all kinds of spelling mistakes. This is because i am often drunk and if I'm not drunk, you can be certain I'm probably hungover. Over this Blog you will be following the life of me... who am i and why should you give a shit?
Well, I'm a 26 year old male who has partially already given up on life... this isn't a bad thing, it makes me hate the world in all sorts of wonderful ways that amuse others, but at the same time i'm a very happy person. This bizarre mix up of feelings and ideas keeps everyone on their toes and makes me VERY unpredictable. Like poking a sleeping cat in the face multiple times.... I'm either going to roll over and lick your hand, laying on my back wanting attention, or I'm going to fucking bite you. Isn't this exciting? :D
Well... today has been a funny day.... its 3PM and already, it's snowed heavily, i've told one friend i am going to make love to his grandmother, i've made a joke that has possibly offended my best friend to the point i should be ashamed. (I basically - but accidently, made a joke insulting his friends very recently deceased father. FUCK) Sadly, i've not had the opportunity to make anyones day a nice happy place to be. I know i must seem like a real arsehole, but i am actually a very kind and gentle person that is loved by multiple people. Once y'all get know me, you'll figure out i have quite a big heart.
Jesus H. Robotnik, Does anyone else get an Acidy stomach from pickled onions? These aren't just pickled onions... these are Nana's pickled onions! They taste HEAVENLY but would put Chernobyl to shame in terms of radiation. I'm pretty sure they've made me infertile..... maybe thats why i'm going thin on top and feel queezy! Radiation poisoning! Luckily i have a shaved head, so the ladies can't tell i'm at the shallow end of the gene pool ;)
This blog will be updated often.... sometimes, i might even pop in and give you a well written article about stuff! I'm only gonna update it when i can be bothered but do expect a daily update or a daily post! In all honesty, your feedback is majorly important as it will shape the future of my blogs. If you like my sense of humour for instance, i might start a web comic. If you like my interests, i will write more articles on things. I am a completely interactive person ;)
Tatty Bye my little Cherubs ^_^
Before we start, i am NOT perfect, So you will probably get all kinds of spelling mistakes. This is because i am often drunk and if I'm not drunk, you can be certain I'm probably hungover. Over this Blog you will be following the life of me... who am i and why should you give a shit?
Well, I'm a 26 year old male who has partially already given up on life... this isn't a bad thing, it makes me hate the world in all sorts of wonderful ways that amuse others, but at the same time i'm a very happy person. This bizarre mix up of feelings and ideas keeps everyone on their toes and makes me VERY unpredictable. Like poking a sleeping cat in the face multiple times.... I'm either going to roll over and lick your hand, laying on my back wanting attention, or I'm going to fucking bite you. Isn't this exciting? :D
Well... today has been a funny day.... its 3PM and already, it's snowed heavily, i've told one friend i am going to make love to his grandmother, i've made a joke that has possibly offended my best friend to the point i should be ashamed. (I basically - but accidently, made a joke insulting his friends very recently deceased father. FUCK) Sadly, i've not had the opportunity to make anyones day a nice happy place to be. I know i must seem like a real arsehole, but i am actually a very kind and gentle person that is loved by multiple people. Once y'all get know me, you'll figure out i have quite a big heart.
Jesus H. Robotnik, Does anyone else get an Acidy stomach from pickled onions? These aren't just pickled onions... these are Nana's pickled onions! They taste HEAVENLY but would put Chernobyl to shame in terms of radiation. I'm pretty sure they've made me infertile..... maybe thats why i'm going thin on top and feel queezy! Radiation poisoning! Luckily i have a shaved head, so the ladies can't tell i'm at the shallow end of the gene pool ;)
This blog will be updated often.... sometimes, i might even pop in and give you a well written article about stuff! I'm only gonna update it when i can be bothered but do expect a daily update or a daily post! In all honesty, your feedback is majorly important as it will shape the future of my blogs. If you like my sense of humour for instance, i might start a web comic. If you like my interests, i will write more articles on things. I am a completely interactive person ;)
Tatty Bye my little Cherubs ^_^
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)